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Dagonsheart

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So I’ve been away for a while :) I’m not going to go super deep in the whys of it all but a few things that have happened are: - I moved to a new apartment again - Getting used to living on my own again - Furniture troubles

- Just not having the motivation to do art so I ended up just taking a break from drawing - Getting ready for renovations of my kitchen and bathroom that starts next week while I live in my place (rented apartment so this is mandatory) - Getting ready to somewhat reenter the world of going to work The reason that I’m updating you all is that I had a sudden burst of artful energy today. I completed a full drawing and also somehow found the energy to scan and take pictures of the few loose drawings laying around my office/art space :D So I have 6 drawings and 6 pictures (for subscriptions) queued up to be uploaded over the next 6 weeks :3 Will I continue to upload after that or disappear again? Well only time can tell cause I sure don’t know^^; I Hope you all may have a nice day! :D

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So in my last journal I mentioned that I was going to make some changes around my approach to my art that mainly would impact the people that are subscribed to me. To be more precise I said it would only impact the people subscribed to me - but the more I thought about it the more I realized it would impact pretty much everything when it comes to the way I want to view and experience the process of uploading to Da.


So the changes I’m talking about is that I’m throwing both my old and new project schedule in the trash can. It’s not that they didn’t work or that they didn’t fulfill their purpose of making it easier to progress all my various art projects. The problem is that it worked too well and my mind latched onto it and made it control not only the time spent on my art but all my time and energy. The structure became so rigid in my mind that if I could not start a particular activity at the right time it destroyed the rest of my day and sometimes the next as well. I now know that the part of my mind that made it so much of a problem was the part where my asperges reside. The aspergers in my mind love predictable rhythms and routines so when something unplanned happens it has a mini ‘panic attack’ of sorts and then nothing feels right. Pair that with what became a time based project schedule that in the end not only contained my art projects but also when I gamed, watched tv, ate, slept and so on…. Yeah it became quite toxic. The worst part was that I couldn’t really see it. Sure I knew something was wrong, just not what. And then I got my diagnosis and the help that came with it - it took awhile but I now have access to a lot of mental tools and knowledge to help me detect and fix when stuff like this ends up happening :)


So back to the changes! I’m keeping some of the old structure intact but mostly the parts that have nothing to do with art and more to do with taking care of myself. But when it comes to my art I’m going to imagine my projects not as a list but as a pile of blocks where I can pick between 1-3 projects per week based on my energy level and whatever other activities I have that week. This part of things is the change that impacts the people subscribed to me - this due to them not being able to reasonably predict or expect when a project, that their tier gives them access to, gets worked on. The changes that are gonna impact the rest is that I have noticed that my approach to Da lately has been the one of a content creator with a stable upload schedule. Not sure how or why that happened… Maybe the happy ‘numbers are going up’ feeling and the whole subscription thing had an impact? But I can’t say for sure. What I do know is that I don’t want that mindset. Da is not my job, sure I have subscription tiers but they were never meant to be more than a fun optional look behind the scenes. What I’m gonna do is drop the ‘I need to upload around once a week’ thought in the dumpster and adopt the ‘I’ll upload saturdays when I have something to upload’ thought instead.


Another thing I’m going to do is remove the life update journal from my highest subscription tier since it has done nothing for me but make me uncomfortable and trigger the anxious parts of my mind.

I as always hope that my ramble made at least a little bit of sense and that whoever might read this may have an okay day :3

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So It's been a little while since last time I made a post, comment or looked at anything here on Deviantart so it felt like the time to give an update :3 I'm not gonna spell check or reread my post to much today so please excuse any spelling mistakes... or me rambeling without making much sense^^; The course for the break this time around is based on a group of things just like all the other times I had to take one. But I can confidently say that I don't feel bad that the break was needed and that surprises me a little - but in the good way :) So some might be tired of seeing me say 'I have Asperger's' or 'I'm low on energy'... or they might not. It might just be me that feels that I have pushed it in everyones faces - but that is not the point right now. The point is that I soon will have had my diagnosis for a full year and that during that year I have been doing a lot of work in regards to understanding what having Asperger's ment for me, my limits and my boundaries. I have worked with how to handle the challenes and gone back through my memories to se were I masked that the problems even existed (both to others and myself) and in general just figured out what was me talking and what was my mind just not understanding. And while I'm not done I can say that I feel more calm and okay. Sometimes the world will get to much or to loud and I'll need to retreat and that's fine. Other times I will have long periods of time were I'm stable and that super!

So yeah this curent break did have an element of me finding the world 'to much to fast' but it also had some more silly reasons like my computermouse not working properply and not wanting to use my pc due to it (and knowing that chrismas was just around the corner so buying a new one would be silly when I knew that I would be getting a new onw then) And chrismas itself also played a role. So a lot of little things and some bigger ones. I do plan on returing to Da. That's not even a question in my mind. I just don't fulle know when. Me best quess would be sometime during this mounth :) But I will be making a few changes - they will only affect thouse that subbed to me but it's changes none the less. I will drop an update on that when I return again - but untill then I hope that you all have had a somewhat merry christmas and have gotten safly into the new year :dummy:

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So it seems that I was a bit to optimistik in my last update… It's now been 3 weeks without much happening. I just can’t seem to make a half promise in regards to coming back to Da without random crap happening to mess it up. This time it was me finally getting out of an emotional dive, getting mentally ready to restart my old trusty routines just to get sick for close to a week with a stubborn cold :/ It was at least a mild cold but still come on!


There are also a few changes coming up! Those that are subbed and following my project schedule will be most affected though. This is due to me changing the schedule to reduce the number of active projects. I currently have 10 active ‘slots’ and that is beginning to be too much. At the current moment it would take me close to a month to hit all ten ONCE and that means projects like a color pencil drawing can take up to a year to complete. I have already cleaned up in my projects and only one has been completely scabbed. Most have just been assigned to the same slot (for example digital lore development and write lore development have been combined to just lore development) and one has been prioritized while the others have been put on pause until the time the first project is completed. I have managed to boil it down to 6 active slots and should now be able to hit every shot twice a month. The plan is to start up with the new schedule tomorrow but I make no promises since I don’t want to jinx myself :)

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So time for an update^^ So as I also wrote in my new weekly round up (this is mostly a direct copy and...
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